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JonJo Shelvey HUGE COVER UP THAT WILL CHANGE FOOTBALL!

Newcastle United have signed England midfielder Jonjo Shelvey from Premier League rivals Swansea City for £12m.
The 23-year-old passed a medical at St James’ Park before completing a five-and-a-half-year deal on Tuesday.

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Jonjo, The Cover Up, Uncovered

Newcastle United have signed England midfielder Jonjo Shelvey from Premier League rivals Swansea City for £12m.
The 23-year-old passed a medical at St James’ Park before completing a five-and-a-half-year deal on Tuesday.

But is all as it seems?

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Forget Making a Murder, this is the cover up of the century.

Much has been made of Jonjo Shelvey’s striking resemblance to the Dark Lord, Voldemort. But could it be?

Lord Voldemort was first brought to the public’s attention in June 1997 after the release of J.K. Rowling’s  book, ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’. The book, a true life account and biography of the boy wizard Harry Potter, brought much interest and, as a result, spawned several other books and a movie franchise, making the boy Potter a household name and millions of pounds in the process.

In the final installment of the biography it was claimed Voldemort, the arch-nemesis of Potter, and all round bad egg, was killed during a playground scuffle.

But many sources are now claiming that Voldemort isn’t dead after all and, instead, left wizarding world domination behind him to go into hiding and concentrate on his second love…football.

So could it be?

Voldemort is Shelvey, Shelvey is Voldermort.

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Steve Mcclaren unveiling Shelvey earlier today at St James Park.

Pictures released today of McClaren unveiling Shelvey at St James’ Park have added fuel to the fire, with the similarities between the two being ever present.

And it’s not the first time links between the two have been made…

Voldemort is back!

Back in 2013 West Ham fans made their suspicions  known whilst Shelvey was on the bench for Liverpool.

Further suspicion was added when Shelvey had a run in with former team mate Steven Gerrard. Sources claim that Shelvey was heard using the ‘M’ word when the two had a heated exchange during training.

In a recording of the incident the two can be heard saying..

Gerrard – “Piss off Pea head”.

Shelvey-“I’ll have you for this, you small forehead muggle”

Damming evidence, I’m sure you’ll agree.

It is also claimed, although not proven, That Shelvey was seen whispering Confundus into his hand during Liverpools 2014 defeat to Chelsea. A spell known to cause confusion.

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Rumours of a connection between the two re-emerged yesterday with Shelvey’s big money move to Newcastle.

But is it just coincidence that Shelvey has made a move to Newcastle? A club just 200 miles from the known location of Hogwarts,in the Scottish highlands, the school in which Potter and Voldemort once battled?

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coincidence? We think not!

Could it be that Voldemort is planning a strike of vengeance against Potter (probably after missing out on millions of pounds of royalties)? Could it be that Voldemort, masquerading as an English international, is making his move to Newcastle in order to get himself closer to his target?

At the Away Day Bible…We think so.

And even if Shelvey isn’t planning a strike, how can we be sure that he isn’t regulary using such substances as Felix Felicis, AKA “Liquid Luck” to enhance his performance? Substances that us ‘Mu**les’ would be unable to detect.

Exactly!

Big changes are going to have to be made if we are to control the numbers of magicians in our game.

We need to keep a close eye on this one.

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By Chris Brown

Football

Andy Robertson – From Amateur to Anfield

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Another 3 points gained under the Anfield lights on Saturday evening and another outstanding performance from one of Liverpool’s star men. Nope we’re not talking about Salah, Mane Mane or Bobby Firmino because it’s all about Robbo, Andy Robertson.
The left back who has made the position his own and is quite rightly receiving the plaudits he deserves.

Andy Robertson

Just 5 years ago Andy Robertson was playing for Scottish 3rd Division side Queens Park, a club in which he signed for after having been released by Celtic for being too small earlier in his career.
His move to Dundee United saw him instantly catch the eye of many north of the border. A renewed contract was agreed within just weeks of his debut and was followed with being PFA’s “Scotland Young Player of the Year” and a subsequent place in the PFA “Scotland Team of the Year” for the 2013-14 Scottish Premiership season.

Andy Robertson
All of this convinced Hull City to swoop with a near £3m bid to get their man, United accepted and the left back was on his way to the EPL.
3 seasons with Hull under the stewardship of former Man Utd stalwart Steve Bruce allowed him to gain what is deemed acceptable experience in England and it was Liverpool who won the race for his signature.
An absolute bargain at a reported £8m and his dream debut season is showing no signs of slowing down.

He has even earned the approval of Kop legend Stevie G. He told BT Sport: “He’s done terrifically well since coming in and the fans have taken to him. It’s not just about Luis Suarez and Fernando Torres, the top players that come, the fans love someone who gives 100 per cent.”
“He’s come in and he’s a very humble kid and gives it his all every game. To be fair to the kid. He’s been excellent.”
His lung bursting closing down run vs Man City made him a social media sensation but for those who have watched him for the past few years this was nothing out of the ordinary.
International recognition has obviously come his way and with 20 caps already under his belt, his partnership with Kieran Tierney gives The Tartan Army a strong looking left side for years to come.
He’s has never given up and has taken every chance that has come his way.
One of the signings of the 2017/18 season has undoubtedly been Liverpool’s Number 26.

Andy Robertson

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Nick Pope – From League Two to Russia as Englands most in form keeper?

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Some pretty daft things are said in the wake of a team winning promotion. Players who, in the depths of winter, you were berating for not being able to pass a ball two yards are suddenly going to be providing the names of your first born. You claim that you believed in the team all along, when in reality, after a home defeat by Dagenham & Redbridge, you had sworn never to go again. Most stupidly of all however, you claim that your young loanee goalkeeper will go to the next World Cup. Or at least that’s what I did after Bury’s promotion on the last day of the 2014/15 season. While little Thomas Daniel has yet to show his face, the latter statement may actually come true as Gareth Southgate takes a look at Burnley’s Nick Pope in his latest England squad.

Nick joined Bury in January 2015, on loan from Charlton Athletic. Our promotion campaign wasn’t running particularly smoothly. The day before Pope’s debut we sat 9th in League Two, two points outside the play off places and nine points off the automatic promotion places. We’d lost nine games, shipped as many goals as Tranmere, who went on to be relegated and the aforementioned Dagenham & Redbridge had managed to do the double over us as they fought at the wrong end of the table. Three goalkeepers had already worn the ‘keeper’s jersey before Pope. Shwan Jalal, Rob Lainton and Scott Loach had tried and failed to provide the solid goalkeeper David Flitcroft was looking for.

Pope’s debut was a pretty forgettable home draw against Wycombe Wanderers. He conceded a goal, which was to be rarity during Nick’s time with Bury. In the following 21 games, Pope conceded only nine goals, won fifteen games and lost only four. Pope exuded a calmness rarely sighted in the fourth tier of English football, instilling a new confidence in a defence which had underperformed for most the season. Come the final day of the season, Bury needed to win to be promoted. Away at Tranmere, who had already been relegated, the nerves showed. Pope was called upon to make crucial saves to keep the scores level. In the 61st minute however, Tom Soares wrote himself into Bury folklore and at the end of game, Bury found themselves in League One.

The following season, Pope was back with parent club Charlton. He began and ended the season as Charlton’s first choice goalkeeper, not playing all the games as Charlton preferred Stephen Henderson through the middle part of the season. This season was to be one of disappointment however, as Charlton were relegated to League One. Rather than drop down to League One with Charlton, Pope’s career took a different path. The winners of the Championship, Burnley, decided to take Nick onto the Premier League, signing him on a three year deal in July 2016. Pope played only cup matches in his first season with the Clarets. Even when Tom Heaton missed Premier League matches, 37 year old former England goalkeeper Paul Robinson was the preferred option.

With Robinson retiring in July of 2017 and a further injury to Tom Heaton opening the door, the 2017/18 season has seen Pope grasp his opportunity with both hands. To date Pope has kept ten clean sheets in twenty seven Premier League appearances, working behind a defence containing fellow England hopefuls James Tarkowski and Ben Mee.

Could Pope go from League Two to a World Cup in three years? Despite being arguably England’s most in-form goalkeeper heading into the tournament the chances are probably slim. Without any injuries, Gareth Southgate will take Joe Hart, Jack Butland and Jordan Pickford. Despite being woefully out of form, going into a tournament without Joe Hart would be seen as a mistake by most, given his experience, even if he is just there to lend a helping hand to the number one. Butland doesn’t seem to be losing any favour from being embroiled in Stoke’s relegation battle while Pickford could claim to be Everton’s best player of this season. However one mistake, a loss of form or injury could see Pope take the place of any of these three.

Back at Bury, nearly three years have passed since that rainy day promotion at Tranmere and we have never properly replaced Nick Pope. Since that day twelve (!) different goalkeepers have been used, seven during the 2015/16 season alone. As we head towards relegation back to League Two, the summer would be that little bit more bearable knowing that an ex – Shaker was on the biggest stage of them all. All the best Nick, lad. UTS.

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How good is your FA Cup Knowledge?

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LONDON, ENGLAND – MAY 27: The FA Cup Trophy is seen prior to The Emirates FA Cup Final between Arsenal and Chelsea at Wembley Stadium on May 27, 2017 in London, England. (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)

How good is your FA Cup knowledge?

FA Cup Quiz

Test your FA Cup knowledge with our quiz to mark the occasion.

Leaderboard: FA Cup Quiz

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